Why it’s ok to have no friends…

Women sitting on a bench chatting

It happens.

You have been friends for years but you have changed and so have they. You chat on the phone, but only rarely and when you do it’s just not the same. The phone calls are now the only real contact you have – other than the odd Like on their Instagram and Facebook posts. Sound familiar?

Well, what do you do when this is your entire friendship circle?

Firstly, don’t panic. Research shows that intelligent people have fewer friends. 

Secondly, if you only have a few friends, the ones you have often make up for the ones you don’t. My friendship circle includes 4 wonderful women who I am in regular contact with and a handful who I see on a month by  month basis. This works for me because as a mother and business owner I have very little time to socialise, which means I prefer to keep those events to a minimum and only really with my inner circle.

If you feel like you have no friends at all, that’s ok too… unless it’s not.

If you are happy, don’t sweat it because those things stopped meaning anything when you left school. If you are struggling to make friends, again don’t worry because this could change in a day and making friends is simply a numbers game. The more people you meet the more likely you are to make a friend. Get yourself out and about rather than just connecting online. Join a Meetup group or local community group as these face-to-face interactions will form deeper relationships than those you make on Twitter or Facebook.

Most people worry about not having friends when a birthday or big event is approaching. This makes sense, nobody wants to to be the only person at their own birthday party after all! Never rush or fake friendships just to meet this need. Use your money to go on a solo holiday or spa visit instead – you”l have made friends by your next birthday and you can use that date as an achievable goal for forming relationships with the right people.

If you feel you might have social anxiety and this is affecting your ability to form friendships, check out our upcoming post on social anxiety and how to deal with it.

Most importantly, remember friendships often evolve and that’s ok. The longer the friendship does not always equate to them being the better friend. Don’t sweat it and allow space for new friendships to grow.

Do you have any advice on how to make new meaningful friendships? Let us know.

K.x

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