‘There he is…again. ‘
‘She’s invited him to another girl’s night out and he’s actually turned up…ugh.‘
‘Now he wants to talk?!…what a douche.‘
Yup, you can’t stand your besties boyfriend and what’s more, she’s smitten and wants him at every lunch, dinner, cinema night and drinks…
It can be so much worse when you’re single and he’s the third wheel. But why shouldn’t she bring him along? Unless it’s made clear that he is NOT invited, then she has every right to surround herself with the people she loves, right? This of course, doesn’t help you.
So what to do?
There is no easy answer to this one. Pretending that you like someone when you don’t is very rarely a convincing act. Telling your friend you can’t stand her partner may create distance between the two of you. Being sneaky or manipulative is not the answer either, but a possible alternative is to simply create opportunities for (just) the two of you to hang out.
While you wait for the guy to grow on you, or even better they break-up (come on, you can be honest) here are a few events he won’t want to attend…
- Book a spa day for 2 as a treat for the both of you. Wowcher and Groupon do some great special offers for 2, so unless he does the same, you won’t be disturbed
- Invite her over for a cup of tea and a catch up ( be clear that you want ‘real talk’ so no +1)
- Meet her after work for an impromptu shopping trip. If the new guy turns up it will be AFTER some valuable alone time with the bestie
- Invite her to get your nails / feet done. Chances are he’ll give it a miss…or maybe not.
‘This is bull, can’t I just tell her that he gets on my nerves and ask her to leave him at home?’
Look, you COULD always let her know – if you have the type of relationship that won’t be negatively impacted then great. Even if your relationship suffers – this may be a price you are happy to pay. But we are all human, so this won’t be the case for everyone.
What is the issue?
It’s also important to consider why you don’t like him – is he exhibiting threatening behaviour? Is he treating you or your friend badly? Do you know something about him that is making you dislike him? In this case, letting your friend know may be the best course of action. Remember, if you feel your friend may be being mistreated or is in need of advice, you can get information from: Women’s Aid.